WHY YOU LOSE PEOPLE WHEN YOU LEVEL UP: Conscious living & selective interactions
I do a ‘contact number detox’ every six months so that I can remind myself that I do not have to feel sorry for cutting ties with those who are not good for my mental health. I am extremely protective about my energy and territorial about my heart- space. Given the work that I do and everything that comes with it, I need to protect myself more because I would never want to project my dissatisfactions onto the other clients who require my help. I have lost a few people on the way and I am okay with that. In the past, it used to bother me because I always thought there was something wrong with m but when I introspect I find that I was always a good friend, a listener, compassionate and supportive.
I was deleting a certain contact today and not once I had to think if I am doing the right thing or not. My mental diet is strong enough and I make sure to ask myself the right questions instead of questioning if I am doing something right or wrong.
a. Will I ever pick this person’s call if they called me?
b. Do I ever want to hear from them?
c. Does friendship with this person add any value to my life or work?
d. How do I feel- being their friend and not being their friend?
e. Does it make me feel worthy or worthless being in the same space as them?
When we are children, maybe in school or so, we do not have limiting beliefs about people or the world. Our only concern was to have a good time with our pals and that was about it. As we grew up, fears started to creep in because ‘adulthood’ comes with problems, such has been said. The fear-mongering attitude is comprised the conditions placed by society, family, colleagues, etc. Most importantly, there is a narrative that says you will be all alone if there is no one by your side. All these ideas are conclusions made by different perspective minds. It is true that man is a social animal and he needs to be a part of the social system to survive but the fact of the matter is there is no need to classify oneself based on how many people are parts of their lives.
Our conscious living phase is nothing but the desire to choose experiences. Whatever we choose to experience, that is what manifests. For example, if I want to experience good friendship, I will have to go through some very tough lessons in friendship so that I can differentiate between the good and bad ones. Imagine having to live a life where there are no experiences and my ability to sift the bad from the good is zero, what am I even going to attract? I will be a magnet for trouble anyway because I refuse to learn the lessons and blame myself for being naive, etc.
Your interactions with people do not have to mean anything. When we shift our timelines we also elevate our consciousness because at every level the challenges are not the same. You don’t have a third standard’s exam paper for passing the tenth class. With every step upwards, the level of difficulty increases and that also means, those who do not fit your next phase of life, they have to stay back until they can reach your level of consciousness. That is also the same reason why our thoughts sometimes don’t match with people with whom we have shared years and years of friendship and eventually the bond falls off.
Levelling up also does not mean you start being oblivious to people’s needs. You only understand what works for you and what doesn’t. When you can finally identify what is adding value to your life, you will gravitate towards what makes you feel better. Just like when you wear your old clothes out (Just for the sake for explanation, dealing with people is not the same).
How do you start being unapologetic about the newer choices in life?
~Please understand that this life is first about how you look at it. Everything is a perception and based on that you will attract experiences. Sometimes you are in friendships and situations which have had their base in your low self- esteem, indecisiveness, fear and lack of confidence. When you are choosing a new timeline to step into, your highest version does not see itself being friends with those who don’t fit your belief systems.
~The 3D is an illusion. It will always be an illusion because time itself is not real. When you say that you’re lone and there are no friends to fall back on because you have had arguments with everyone of them, you are also disregarding the fact that you can be a completely different situation the next day, the next month or the next year.
~People are you pushed out. The moment you decide that you have no time for drama, all the jazz around the unwanted starts to bother you. You then realise how bad of a self- concept you had when you met those who now are a part of your life or those who you detest.
~Not everyone understands enlightenment. It is okay. When they are supposed to ‘awaken’ is entirely up to them. Don’t try to convince them to change. Allow people to learn on their own and stay in your lane.
Reach out for coaching: anjashi.work@gmail.com
