TOXIC POSITIVITY: Myth or Reality
I am going to be absolutely straightforward here. There are too many opinions on Podcasts, YouTube channels, Instagram reels and God knows what all platforms there are in this world, some of which promote paid content, tweak algorithms, etc. Some of these opinions are blatantly expressed by those who have no business explaining stuff they have no idea about. Either the Podcast equipments are coming too cheap these days or people just feel talking nonsense looks cool, without fact checking, no research or anything substantial to corroborate their statements with. Social media has reached a saturation point currently.
I see various influencers, stand-up comedians, content creators-turned-actors and the like pronounce “toxic positivity” while being whiny and extremely judgemental towards events that are supposed to comprise what we call LIFE. Why has this happened?
A. Blame games are ridiculously easy. It is a given that to escape accountability one sometimes resorts to mud-slinging. This behaviour is expected from those who have less experience in years. Apart from severe emotional/ mental damage, petty matter bother people like their food is never going to get digested if they refrained from gossiping about it.
B. Everyone wants to become a therapist. And play therapist-therapist games. As much as it is validating that someone is asking your opinion, it also makes one pushed under the bus in case something goes awry.
C. Some people do not want solutions. They only want to trauma dump. Period.
D. There is a rising trend in categorising people into red flag/ green flag/ purple flag whatever. This leads to complete disregard of the fact that there may be a potential for growth. If not growth, people are just frustrated which is a direct result of not having enough patience, adequate discernment or even empathy.
Now, let’s put these points in perspective. For eg., there is a girl Perry, who has been on the receiving end of every relationship she has ever had. Her work life is not looking too pretty, she has a disheveled appearance, she has lost passion for life and has no zeal for anything at all. She talks about it to Julia, who is a positive person and looks at the bright side of things all the time. Julia advises her to be grateful, have patience and make an attempt to trust that God has something great planned for her. Perry dismisses Julia’s suggestions and sulks, saying, “This kind of toxic positivity is not required, you are a horrible friend – you don’t know what I am going through – blah blah”. Julia suggests her further to see a therapist if she really is undergoing misery. Perry again acts snotty and says, “You think I am crazy? Fine. Whatever.”
Perry goes to another friend, Gina, and they both gossip about whatever is causing issues to the former. Gina is a man-hater, anti- social, judgemental and a negative individual who picks on the smallest things to complain about. Collectively, both of them in their own self-righteousness now come to a consensus that they are better than everyone else and keep cribbing. Subsequently, they are hated by everyone because they are far from being empathetic, refrain from looking at things from a neutral perspective or even try appreciating things that bring genuine joy because according to them, “these things are not that important or worth paying attention to”.
The people who harp on “toxic positivity” being a THING, hardly have any idea about positivity even. In my opinion, they choose not to be positive because their overall perception about everything is from a limited standpoint. So if you tell them someone can improve, they would say, “Yeah but I don’t have that much time or I am not interested.” They LOOK for avenues to pinpoint insufficiencies. You may give them the best of everything but they are stuck-up and please note that there is nothing cute about this. This attitude only works in fiction and the movies. It is selfish and problematic in plain sight.
Toxic and Positive cannot be used on the same level. Both of them have different connotations. The problem arises when self- proclaimed experts try to convince you that your positive attitude is fake because one cannot be positive all the time. Firstly, it is a horrible way of perceiving things. One doesn’t act positive, they are just better with handling obstacles on the path. They act with a certain level of confidence. They go around living life like the Universe is rigged in their favour. What good is being negative going to bring?
The world thinks being positive is unrealistic and thinking negatively is being realistic.
People say “Save Money For A Rainy Day” I say HAVE FAITH THAT A RAINY DAY WILL NEVER COME. And I can argue on this the whole day.
Whenever you see someone on these social media platforms making fun of those who have a positive approach towards things no matter what the circumstances are, please know that they are never going to experience the good stuff because in their heads they have already accepted the idea that they will never witness abundance or receive blessings from the Almighty. They are those who have problems with God even. You cannot reason with them, you can only wish them speedy recovery from the disease of hopelessness.
I offer coaching: anjashi.work@gmail.com
